Celebrities That Look Like Cars
When the movie Cars came out in 2006 it had a major error. An error that literally made the events of the Back To The Future trilogy more believable than any plot contained in Cars. What was it that the geniuses at Pixar overlooked?
Cars have faces, and THE HEADLIGHTS ARE THE EYES. NOT THE WINDSHIELD.
Alas, we’ve managed to get the pitchforks put away, and the great “windshield eyes” riots have finally calmed down. The all-star cast of Cars made me think of what other celebrities could appear in the films no doubt 15 series run, so I’ve compiled a quick list of celebrities that look like cars.
Katy Perry – Fiat 500
When you first look at the front of a Fiat 500, your eyes are drawn to the small size paired with large, round headlights. The rest of the car is alright, but the first thing you’ll notice is the proportionate size of those headlights. Even if you’re not a big headlights guy and prefer other parts, these ones are pretty nice. The same can be said for Katy Perry, with her large, round, incredibly symmetrical, bright eyes. The Fiat 500 is among the few cars that haven’t fallen victim to being styled after looking like an angry monster from something off Nickelodeon, with its soft appearance and sporty handling. The roar of the Fiat 500 Abarth is a bit easier on the ears as well.
Elijah Wood – Nissan Juke
It’s adorable! It’s terrifying! Only young people get it! These are all things people are saying about the Nissan Juke, and maybe on occasion Elijah Wood. The headlights on the Juke stare at you with that “I’m going to give you a cake made of
BEES love!” look that is only found one other place on Earth, in the eyes of little stinking little hobbitses. The Juke is also one of the smallest crossovers available today which is appropriate, as Elijah Wood is said to be only 14 inches tall.
Benedict Cumberbach – Jeep Cherokee
There are many things you could compare the face of Benedict Cumberbach to, like geometry sets, Lego, origami, an MC Escher painting, but nothing captures it as well as the Jeep Cherokee. The current Jeep Cherokee came out of obscurity (and retirement) to the demand of literally tens of people and has been cementing itself as “definitely a vehicle of some kind” and “most likely having 4 wheels” champ to beat. We didn’t mind Bumblebee Clumperstumps in the latest Star Trek film, but the cameo by the Jeep Cherokee as Captain Kirk was completely spoiled in the trailers.
Taylor Swift – Mazda 6
Mazda was a car producer that had a tiny niche for itself. A low cost, good old fashioned car made of time honoured materials like rust and corrosion. Times were much simpler in those days. Then Mazda had to go and reinvent itself, and now it’s EVERYWHERE. Like Mazda, Taylor Swift has a reinvented herself from a bland country singer to a bland pop singer, upgrading her looks along the way. If I recall what Mazda CEO Masamichi Kogai said correctly, the sharp lines of Mazda’s “KODO – soul of motion design” were created by printing out life size portraits of Taylor Swift and drawing wheels on them.
Elvis Costello – Chevy Suburban
When you think of Elvis Costello, you immediately picture images of working construction in the American heartland, enjoying an honest day’s work for a cold beer, and bumper stickers that still somehow support the Confederacy. The large lines across the front grille of the modern Suburban mimics the thick rimmed glasses worn by Costello. When designing the Suburban, Chevrolet used the classic American values pioneered by Costello: Veganism, smooth jazz, and general English pleasantries to create the largest vehicle possible capable of achieving up to 3 MPG.
James Franco – Mazda Miata
The Mazda Miata is a small, fun little roadster. It doesn’t have the most power, but there aren’t many people who have driven a Miata and hated it. We know that Franco isn’t about to win any Academy awards for drama, but the films we’ve seen do put a smile on our face. Fortunately for us, even drifting a Miata through China’s industrial centre while burning incense manages to create less smoke than James Franco, so driving a Miata is suggested for those with a sensitive lungs.
The Predator – Lexus Vehicles
Is The Predator really a celebrity? Is a Lexus any more than a Toyota with more leather and shinier chrome? To answer that, we look at the modern Lexus RC F, which features a front intake large enough to inhale woodland creatures and children without missing a beat. When The Predator loses its mask, we learn that the beast has a mouth that I (or maybe even Lexus themselves, who knows?) would describe as “an unprecedented feat of performance engineering that was forged from the asphalt up”. Apparently, news reports are flooding in across the country of house fires being extinguished by Lexus RC F’s driving past and stealing all the nearby oxygen.
4 Wheel Faces
We love and respect our celebrities and we love and treasure our cars. Mixing them is only a natural reaction to seeing so many cars and so much pop culture in a day. It’s important to note that we’re actually fans of the vehicles and celebrities listed here, it just so happens that human genetics have begun stealing DNA from cars.
Know any other celebrities that look like cars (or vice versa)? Let us know in the comments!